Category Archives: Motherhood

A Mother’s Love

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Another year, another Mother’s Day and it still doesn’t feel real but it does feel deeper.

Leading up to it this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself as a Mom… am I really doing my best? Like, really? And about my wonderful Mom (she really is the best). And I’ve also been thinking about all my friends who recently became, or are about to become mother’s. And I think this post might be leaning a bit towards the last group, because when I think of new babies, I think of the uneasiness in the unknown.

There’s a bond in this motherhood thing that I think, when we really look for it, is stronger than any mom shaming and guilt groups combined. Sometimes we feel like the judgement is everywhere, but is it? Or are we just a little overly sensitive? A tad insecure? If we worry about our bodies and our careers and keeping up with the Jones Kardashians, why wouldn’t we worry and wonder about the biggest the job of all – raising our tiny humans? But I’m hearing it and seeing it more and more in new-ish moms – comparisons to one another and our choices and actions. A doubt that brings us down.

But there’s a simple thing I’ve learned in my short time as a mom that’s best summed up in a quote by my best friend Amy Poehler, “Good for you, not for me.” Because those trivial decisions (“OMG you don’t have the Sophie teether?? The shame!”) aren’t what makes someone a good mom, or a mom at all. Instead, it’s the common things we all think and feel, outside of the material things and how soon we should start puree’s. What mom hasn’t rocked her baby at 3am and felt like the only person awake on earth? Looked at her newborn and thought, “How can I love you so much when I’ve only just met you?”. Cried on the first day back to work, first day of day care, or for no reason at all? Felt that swell in your chest when your baby brings home her first mother’s day gift from school and it’s just a tiny hand print on a piece of cardboard but it might as well be the Hope diamond. Tears and smiles and heart explosions, that’s what motherhood is. Not breastfeeding or bottle-feeding or strollers or baby-wearing. It’s love. It’s that everything we do for our babies, every decision, every smile, and every tear, is filled with love.

And there’s nothing like a mother’s love.

Mother’s Day Musings

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Earlier this week I asked my mom what she wanted to do for Mother’s Day and she said, “What do you want to do? It’s your day, too!”. Oh, yeah.

I’m not sure if or when it ever fully sinks in. Sometimes I still look at my baby girl in awe. I grew her. My body nourished her on the inside and now on the outside. She’s my little person. And if I think about it for too long, I feel like my heart might just burst open.

Last year at this time I had the tiniest bump. Only a handful of people knew we were expecting. Over and over again I thought, “This time next year, I’ll have been a mom for a five months already.” which felt impossible to believe. Motherhood was just this foreign thing that adults did. Something I’d need to learn how to do. I didn’t feel “mom” enough to be pregnant, let alone be a mother once she was here.

But like the many women before me, the moment that girl was placed in my arms, I just was. And forever will be.

Parenting is the most selfless, sweetest, exhausting, exalting thing I’ve ever experienced. I am thankful that we lived so much life before she was born, because honestly, certain things get a little more complicated, or if nothing else, less of a priority, once babies come along. I’ve told a few friends that ‘me before E’ doesn’t feel like an amount of time ago, it feels like a different life ago. And now, I can’t imagine life without her.

 

But behind all your stories is your mother’s story, for hers is where yours begins.

-Mitch Albom


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Dear Mom,

Thank you for being mine. More than a few times lately I’ve thought, “If my mom loves me as much as I love Evelina, what a lifetime of love I’ve had.” And how blessed am I? Everything you tried to tell me about having a baby; the connection you feel and how you’d go to the ends of the earth for them, was true. It scared me at first, because I didn’t think I was up for it. Little did I know, there was nothing to prepare for, and that luckily, it just happens. And little did I know, becoming a mom would make me love you more. I now know what you sacrificed for me, for my well-being and happiness. I can only imagine the times you must have put on a happy face, even when you weren’t. Or did without so that I could have more. And I also realize how many times you must have helped me master a new skill, like walking or reading, or just watched me grow, and felt like your heart would explode with bittersweet joy. I know how hard it must have been / be to let me go, and thank you for letting me. As you always say, we’re extensions of each other’s heartbeats. And seeing your love for Little E is like double love for me.

Love always,

Daughter


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Dear daughter,

Thank you for making me a mother. For hanging in there while I get the hang of it and offering your constructive criticism (also known as crying) whenever I’m not quite bringing my A game. I haven’t dropped you, starved you, or let the cats babysit you, so I’d say we’re off to a pretty good start, huh?

Thank you for being an amazing baby. You are so patient, and so sweet, and so happy. Your happiness makes me happy! I love the sparkle in your eyes and your smiles light up my heart.  I love your determination already! Seeing you master milestones is the most amazing thing. Your abilities and development change daily – I get to watch you grow and there is nothing cooler than that. Thank you for letting me do “mom” things, like dress us in coordinating outfits (which I never thought I’d do) or holiday themed gear (which I always knew I’d do). And for your sweet snug’s and hugs. The times you wrap your tiny hand around my finger, or fall asleep on my chest. For allowing me to sing to you, sometimes sweet songs, and sometimes ridiculous, made up songs and for laughing like they’re the greatest thing ever, because your laugh is the greatest thing ever.

That extension of my heartbeat thing that grandmother always talks about…That’s real. And don’t you forget it.

I’m so glad you’re mine. You are my greatest adventure.

Love always,

Mama


To the single mama, rocking both roles on her own.

To the stepmama’s, for loving us like your own.

To the stay at home and working moms, trying to fit it all into a day

To the grandmama’s, loving their grandbabies more than words can say.

You are ALL amazing.

Happy Mother’s Day.