Another year, another Mother’s Day and it still doesn’t feel real but it does feel deeper.
Leading up to it this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about myself as a Mom… am I really doing my best? Like, really? And about my wonderful Mom (she really is the best). And I’ve also been thinking about all my friends who recently became, or are about to become mother’s. And I think this post might be leaning a bit towards the last group, because when I think of new babies, I think of the uneasiness in the unknown.
There’s a bond in this motherhood thing that I think, when we really look for it, is stronger than any mom shaming and guilt groups combined. Sometimes we feel like the judgement is everywhere, but is it? Or are we just a little overly sensitive? A tad insecure? If we worry about our bodies and our careers and keeping up with the
Jones Kardashians, why wouldn’t we worry and wonder about the biggest the job of all – raising our tiny humans? But I’m hearing it and seeing it more and more in new-ish moms – comparisons to one another and our choices and actions. A doubt that brings us down.
But there’s a simple thing I’ve learned in my short time as a mom that’s best summed up in a quote by my best friend Amy Poehler, “Good for you, not for me.” Because those trivial decisions (“OMG you don’t have the Sophie teether?? The shame!”) aren’t what makes someone a good mom, or a mom at all. Instead, it’s the common things we all think and feel, outside of the material things and how soon we should start puree’s. What mom hasn’t rocked her baby at 3am and felt like the only person awake on earth? Looked at her newborn and thought, “How can I love you so much when I’ve only just met you?”. Cried on the first day back to work, first day of day care, or for no reason at all? Felt that swell in your chest when your baby brings home her first mother’s day gift from school and it’s just a tiny hand print on a piece of cardboard but it might as well be the Hope diamond. Tears and smiles and heart explosions, that’s what motherhood is. Not breastfeeding or bottle-feeding or strollers or baby-wearing. It’s love. It’s that everything we do for our babies, every decision, every smile, and every tear, is filled with love.
And there’s nothing like a mother’s love.